curhat,....

dear diary,...( mulan kwok abiiiiieeezzzz), when ur head spinning arround,..means, somehow, u r disorientation. When my head, were spinning arround, i do disorientation. what i mean by disorientation is that, i cant recognized things that i hate n things that i want it most. and that kind of circumstances i always move otomaticaly and moved by order. never moved by my hearth.
most of d time, i always 100% sure bout what i want. i never doubt to take a risk for something that i believe. but, i get dizzy, coz for now, i can believe nothing.
so far, i can get in touch with people. but only get in touch, not get along. its very different in quality and in shape also. its hard to know, when u sorrounded by people but u will never take their hands, even for a while. its almost feels like u in d deep darknes, n had no ligth to guide u. i dont meant to be foolish or spoil, coz in fact, so many people still can walk in that kind of world. even they made it into something. but, what is the value of that, if u just enjoyed succes by urself ?? u will never have fully happy laugh,..coz its will look silly if u laugh alone, n nothing u can laugh when u alone!!
so, the point is,..if i had something to believe after my GOD, may be i will be okey, n may be am in a proces to find the things that i can believe here,..