Selasa, 18 Maret 2008

curhat,....

dear diary,...( mulan kwok abiiiiieeezzzz), when ur head spinning arround,..means, somehow, u r disorientation. When my head, were spinning arround, i do disorientation. what i mean by disorientation is that, i cant recognized things that i hate n things that i want it most. and that kind of circumstances i always move otomaticaly and moved by order. never moved by my hearth.
most of d time, i always 100% sure bout what i want. i never doubt to take a risk for something that i believe. but, i get dizzy, coz for now, i can believe nothing.
so far, i can get in touch with people. but only get in touch, not get along. its very different in quality and in shape also. its hard to know, when u sorrounded by people but u will never take their hands, even for a while. its almost feels like u in d deep darknes, n had no ligth to guide u. i dont meant to be foolish or spoil, coz in fact, so many people still can walk in that kind of world. even they made it into something. but, what is the value of that, if u just enjoyed succes by urself ?? u will never have fully happy laugh,..coz its will look silly if u laugh alone, n nothing u can laugh when u alone!!
so, the point is,..if i had something to believe after my GOD, may be i will be okey, n may be am in a proces to find the things that i can believe here,..

Senin, 17 Maret 2008

atas nama dosa,..

malam yang kelam,..
belum tenggelam dan menghitam,...
masih merona jingga,..
dengan senyum semerah darah!
dengan suara-suara seperti sapi perah,..
malam belum menyerah,..
malam masih resah.
betapa aku menyukai malam,..
betapa aku selalu ingin dipeluk selimut meragu,..
dibalik kelambu, menyesap tuak kelabu,..
terasa surga begitu dekat.
sedang neraka begitu buram,..
malam yang kelam,..
belum tenggelam dan menghitam,,,
malam masih berlayar,..
dengan layar yang terkembang,..
membawa berjuta mimpi melayang,..
yang menyerah pada bintang,..
namun kunang-kunang mulai padam,...
malam pun merayap meninggalkan dosa,..
terbakar oleh datangnya pagi dan matahari,..
betapa aku benci rasa panas ini!!

seribu debu,...

aku berlari,...
sebagai satu,..diantara seribu,...
membuang peluh,...mengejar waktu,..
aku tak menghindar dari keluh,..
aku siap untuk terbunuh,..
aku berlari,
sebagai satu dalam seribu,
berpacu dengan debu,..
membedaki hari-hari kelabu
selalu berpacu,..
dengan semangat seorang serdadu,..
aku berlari sebagai bagian dari beribu,..
orang -orang yang berpacu disini,..
berusaha untuk mendapat tempat dijakartamu,...!!

Senin, 03 Maret 2008

life,...for the rest....

life,..in the name of it,..
i breathe,..
life,..for the need of it,..
i eat,..
life,....on behalf of it,..
i bleed,..
life,...what am struggle with,...
and i cried,..
for so many times,..
life torturing destiny,...
and rape faith,..
life,.....and the rest,..
is yet to come,..