Dipenghujung Hari

kalaulah hari merasa lelah,
peluhnya kan bersimbah untukku
badannya terlalu banyak ku bulak-baliki
untuk urusan yang berbeda
dengan perasaan-perasaan yang berbeda pula
akrobat rasa yang terpancar diwajah,
sedih, gulana, bahagia, tertawa, marah
semua melintas cepat dalam sehari
andai hari bisa merepet
pasti akan panjang ceritanya
tentang lelahnya menghadapiku
sebelumnya, dia hanya mengerti 1 hari saja
hari bahagia
hari berduka
hari tertawa
hari menangis
rumit jadinya ketika ada hari menangis,tertawa, berduka dan bahagia
terlalu panjang!!
di penghujungnya hari, kami kelelahan....

Padang 13 juli

Being ill

For so many times i get sick. Get this kind of illness or those kind of illness. For so many times, i keep struggling for my health. But, i was alone during that time, i dont feel like i will hurt anyone. As if my parents, they have another daughter. But, now, am sick again, also with worse condition, and am not alone. I had husband beside me. That make this illness even worse. I have to go with him tru this pain, which is more painful. I just want share happiness with him, not illness. Its will hurt him, hurt my parents more.
God, i keep questioning why all this things happen to me. I wonder why God keep testing me with all this. I dont want to said that am angry at You, but somehow i do feel you hate me. Why me God? I know am not faithfull moslem, but somehow, i just want to make my people around me happy. I dont want to be sad source for them. I wish i can understand God reason why having me like this easily....but i cant...
God, just give me health like other people. They have health, can do anything and can have kids. And make their husband or parents happy. I want to do both, make my husband happy, and make my mom feel easy about her life.
I dont want to say, just allow me die God, becaused i dont want to die. But, somehow, all this illness ruin my feeling and emotion God.
God, please, allow me to get healthy again. Can do this and that again. No more illness and please, allow me to make my husband happy to have healthy wife God. Please God. Please...Please...

Menampung Hujan

hati ini terlalu lama terbengkalai

hanya menikmati panas matahari

terik dan benderang

dan ragam perasaan lalu lalang 

yang tak singgah

lalu hati ini terayu keteduhan mendung

kelabu tak gelap

goyah terbeban hujan...

hati ini terlalu lama terbengkalai

cenderung menikmati perasaan yang singgah oleh mendung

bertaruh pada hujan

demi sebuah kesejukan dan basah

layaknya hujan singgah

dia menetap 

hati ini tak ingin terbengkalai lagi

mencoba menikmati curahan hujan

yang menyejukkan

namun kadang berlebihan.. 

Mabuk

kemana jelaga itu pergi?
ketika perapian tak berasap lagi

seberapa jauh abu itu akan terbang?
memenuhi udara kota mati

apakah terbang dalam ilusi
cukup baik untuk memulai hari?

semua baris kalimat tak bersambung ini
mengawang didalam kepala ku yang tak berisi

Dilema

ketika air mata menjalar
aku merasa berdosa
karena tak bisa berkelakar
dan membuatmu tertawa

andai aku memiliki pemahaman
bahwa memahami mu itu sulit
bahwa membuatmu percaya itu pelik
menghilangkan kesinisanmu pada dunia adalah luar biasa

mungkin sabarku akan bertambah
mungkin semangatku tak gampang padam
mungkin usahaku akan sekeras baja
dan mungkin,
tangisku tak sesering saat ini

kita terjebak diruang hampa,
aku dengan kelemahanku
kau dengan keraguanmu
aku tak ingin menjadikan tangis ini lumrah
aku ingin bahagialah yang meraja

aku ingin kita menjawabnya bersama
kala kau mengerti,
bahwa kau dan aku tak ingin terpisah

Abraham Lincoln's letter to his son's teacher

He will have to learn, I know,

that all men are not just,

all men are not true.

But teach him also that

for every scoundrel there is a hero;

that for every selfish Politician,

there is a dedicated leader...

Teach him for every enemy there is a

friend,

Steer him away from envy,

if you can,

teach him the secret of

quiet laughter.

Let him learn early that

the bullies are the easiest to lick...

Teach him, if you can,

the wonder of books...

But also give him quiet time

to ponder the eternal mystery of birds in the sky,

bees in the sun,

and the flowers on a green hillside.

In the school teach him

it is far honourable to fail

than to cheat...

Teach him to have faith

in his own ideas,

even if everyone tells him

they are wrong...

Teach him to be gentle

with gentle people,

and tough with the tough.

Try to give my son

the strength not to follow the crowd

when everyone is getting on the band wagon...

Teach him to listen to all men...

but teach him also to filter

all he hears on a screen of truth,

and take only the good

that comes through.

Teach him if you can,

how to laugh when he is sad...

Teach him there is no shame in tears,

Teach him to scoff at cynics

and to beware of too much sweetness...

Teach him to sell his brawn

and brain to the highest bidders

but never to put a price-tag

on his heart and soul.

Teach him to close his ears

to a howling mob

and to stand and fight

if he thinks he's right.

Treat him gently,

but do not cuddle him,

because only the test

of fire makes fine steel.

Let him have the courage

to be impatient...

let him have the patience to be brave.

Teach him always

to have sublime faith in himself,

because then he will have

sublime faith in mankind.

This is a big order,

but see what you can do...

He is such a fine fellow,

my son!

Koizura

Mommy,
I know your life have been very hard
For so many years,
U are the mountain,
U are the rain,
U are the shadow
Cloud above my head,
But yet,
i still put tears on your eyes
now and then,
am sorry if i still can not carry my own burden,
am sorry for sharing the sadness with you
but as you may know,
u're my mountain, u're my shield, and u're my mom,
so, please mommy,
be strong for this time tears,
hold a little longer for this time sadness
throw away all the cloud for again and again...
because u're my Koizura
and i need you as clear as ussual,
so i can continue my journey....