kesaaaalllll,.....

if he didnt want to meet me, why he ask me to go there. just say, i dont want to meet you. that's it. but asking for meeting and make people walking like crazy woman, is not very good manner. even i can say, that was very unpolite.
i dont know what to say about you, but only regret it how foolish i am. always because of you. and i dont want that to happen again!!!!

perjamuan siang

ku jamu siang ini dengan segelas teh
pahit, tanpa gula
terlarut beribu duka dalam teh itu
terlarut beribu cinta yang hanyut
didalam teh itu
kehidupan tawar sebelumnya
sudah tak berjejak
meningkah bayang-bayang luka
yang sudah menghitam
ku jamu siang ini dengan segelas teh
pekat, hingga hitam
sehitam langit yang hendak badai
sedingin es yang tak hendak mencair
dan,
siang tak keberatan hanya kujamu dengan segelas teh

try to be productive

since so many illness i suffer in my body, make me limited dream that dream about. no more dream about having trip to abroad, as i wonder, am gonna death alone, or dream that i can have lover. 

its hard to let go that such a. becaused that dream feed me and energized me during my adult life. i living a dream. i;ll do alright if you know what i mean.

now, everything started to get better, and i started to dream again. not as big as before, but yeah, i have courage to dream again,...

tahun baru,..

tahun baru,..

dulu dan kini,..

ada kembang api,

langit berwarna-warni,..

menyambut tahun baru

yang tak pernah sepi,..

jenuh,..

jenuh aku
ketika semua berdetak lambat
tak tertebak
tak terkatakan
hanya jenuh
mengiringi bosan
yang tak berkesudahan...

ketika manusia mengeluh

siang saat terang,
malam saat kelam
atau senja saat bercampur
manusia selalu mengeluh
siang terlalu terik
malam terlalu panjang
senja terlalu singkat,..
tidak ada proporsi yang pas..

Trace

The last time i saw,..

his waving at me from far,..

he had smile in his face,..

am not sure about the waving,..

but just so happy to see those smiley face

am not able to cacth him that time,..

neither had an idea,..

that would be the wave for farewell

i thought i still had another day 

to see the smiley face again,..

he just came up all in the sudden,..

then leaved a trace somewhere in my hearth

am not sure, weather i have to cry,..

or just feeling normal,..

after i know,..

he just leaved,

again ..

all in the sudden,..

For some who come and leaved all the sudden,...miss u...